This was all Sarah Brown's fault
On Monday I had to go to Jeannine's to order a pumpkin pie (the one I made last year was terrible so this year we hired professionals) and while I was there I decided I wanted one of their fucking fantastic chocolate cakes with the mocha buttercream icing. But I couldn't remember what it was called.
Me: "I also want one of your chocolate cakes, that one, you know, what's it called? Chocolate Death March? Chocolate Vehicular Homicide?"
Counter guy: "Chocolate Heaven?"
Me: "Uh, whatever. Here's a fifty. Give it to me. Now."