More Faded Celebrity Sightings, Recounted Completely in Dialogue, in Two Parts.
Me: I saw Dennis Miller at Jeanine's when I was picking up lunch.
Boss: Oh, God, I didn't even know who he was until someone explained it to me. I never watched that show he was on.
Me: Saturday Night Live?
Boss: That's it. Is he funny?
Me: Um, yeah, he has his moments.
Boss: *expectant silence*
Me: The only other thing I have to say is, TWENTY DOLLARS FOR TWO SALADS??
Boss: We can charge it to the company if we talk about work while we eat.
Me: I saw Dennis Miller today when I was picking up expensive salads at Jeanine's.
Jack: What a piece of shit that guy is.
Me: He's lost weight, the last time I saw him he was fat and hostile.
Jack: *bored silence*
Me: He has that celebrity laser beam stare, too. Every time I run into someone famous they bore into me with this look that's, like, daring me to say something to them. Like when I had a yoga class once and Alanis Morissette was across from me, or like the other time when I was next to Griffin Dunne? They both gave me the burning eyeball. Like, what do they think I'm going to do, throw yoga bricks at them? It was half a day later that I even realized it was Alanis Morissette anyway, with her hair all piled up like that; and what am I going to say to Griffin Dunne, "I loved you in After Hours but I hear you're a real dick"? Or, "Gee, Griffin, can't get up in handstand, even using the wall? Want me to spot you?"
Jack: *pretending to sleep* Zzzzzz . . . *snorts* *yawns* Mmm, that was refreshing. Were you saying something?